Through Being Cool

This past summer has been a ton of fun. I've had probably about as much straight up fun as any summer of my life. I've partied very hard. Did a ton outside. Played a ridiculous amount of Frisbee Golf. Met a lot of great people. Had a good time at work even, while even making a nice sum of money. However, I've kind of felt like a phony the whole time. Not to mention it just has started to not feel right. Doesn't make sense? Let me explain.

• I rarely spend time by myself anymore. I absolutely treasure time by myself and I'm starting to miss it.
• I've become some smooth guy at talking to girls out at bars. Could there be something further from the truth? I just finished eating a PB&J Sandwich on a Harry Potter plate and then contemplated between watching Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire for the 200th time or reading comics. I took the plate as an omen. Smooth I am not usually.
• Lately, I've been tossing money out as if I was the guys from Stella (Tried to find the image to back it up, but essentially it is a picture of the three guys from Stella riding in a convertible just tossing cash...it's great because it is an ani-gif, but it is lame in this case because it is a no-gif)
• I worked long and very hard to lose weight, yet here I am gaining weight. Sure everyone says I look exactly the same, but I know better! There is weight for me to lose as my torso and certain other areas have become...well I will call them pudgy.
• I love my place, yet it is in a constant state of disarray because of constant visitors and "tenants," and by that I mean people who stay overnight and leave stuff everywhere.

The point is, I'm frustrated with the lifestyle, I'm frustrated with the people involved to a degree (especially when it involves eating my food with no permission or response and breaking very clearly set rules of my house), and I'm frustrated with myself for going so far in this direction. I've had a lot of fun through a lot of bad decisions more than likely.

When I started thinking of these feelings, I thought of an album by the band Saves the Day called Through Being Cool. It's weird to think of making a conscientious choice, making an absolute choice to no longer be "cool" and go back to my comic book reading, home on Saturday night, Harry Potter loving self. Don't get me wrong, I will still go out from time to time, I just will embrace things that I prefer to do. Today, I had a great day, having breakfast with my family, then going to Barnes and Noble and treating them like a library for a few hours, going to the gym and playing basketball/lifting for a few more, and then taking a well deserved nap. I know that doesn't seem like a great day to many, but that seems like the best to me.

I was told this summer that I am an all or nothing guy. When I do something, it's essentially all in or not at all. I'm going to learn a new mode this fall/winter. Moderation. I have no idea how well it will work. I'm going to refocus on work and health, focus on some new goals that I really want to work on, and back burner my wild and crazy side for a little while. I think this is the perfect time to do it, as I have a ton of concerts to go to over the next month, and an awesome vacation to look forward to as well coming up here at the end of the week. It's all happening. Now I just have to embrace the David and not worry about what others may think.