Half Hour of Power

Myself in my super hero costume

Every day, I extend a 16 oz. triple shot almond rocha/white chocolate americano with steamed half and half (that's right - my coffee is 14 words long, I am such an ass) from a quick beverage to a day long extravaganza. I manage to slow roll that bad boy by continuously microwaving it back to the intensely hot temperatures I prefer it at (I will not drink cold coffee). I get awesome value out of my coffee, and one that provides me piping hot and delicious energy throughout the work day.

It also provides me with the most magical part of my day, and something I've just recently started calling my half hour of power (sort of like DC comics character Hourman...except for half as much). Right when I get to the end of my coffee, I chug probably the last 3 ounces or so because I am also lazy, and laziness is not conducive to getting up and microwaving once more. When drinking quick half ounce sips for an entire day, I don't really derive much energy whatsoever from the coffee - just enough to maintain wakefulness and effectiveness. However, when I pound that last bit, it's like my entire body is lit on fire.

It's like I become a superhero.

I fill cellular orders at incredible rates. I edit telemarketing scripts with remarkable ease. I leap over logistical roadblocks that are miles high. In short, I become some sort of super employee, fueled by coffee, my sweet, sweet nectar of life.

And then I crash harder than a Nascar driver racing against a tree.

Why doesn't that ever happen in comics?

Totally not cool.