Recently I picked up another new phone (I've been going through about 2 or 3 a week at this point) and this one is one I think I'm going to stick with for a while. It's the Blackberry 8220 (essentially a flip phone version of the Blackberry Pearl) and it's pretty much everything I could want in a phone. It has a great keypad for texting, it has Wi Fi, you can load it up with applications, and it checks both my work and play emails all the time.
I freaking love it.
One of the benefits also is the Facebook application, which updates me whenever I get a message, wall posting, or anything really. It also provides me the ability to give on the run status updates, which, when combined with a night of watching bad movies and creating new inside jokes, is pretty freaking hysterical.
Example: last night while watching the truly abysmal House of Wax, we created the term CMMing (short for Chad Michael Murray-ing), which didn't really have a clear definition, but seemed to mean any time anyone did something awesome, badass, or decidedly unlike a horror movie characters general M.O. It was hilarious, and led to a period of time where myself and fellow bad movie night attendees Brian, Colver, and Lorna only spoke in single letter abbreviations of words, which made very little sense but made us laugh very hard all the same.
Back to the point of the phone, because I was a little tanked and was really entertained by our current discussions, I of course started making Facebook status updates that related to what we were discussing and/or watching. Because of the CMMing term, I of course made my last update to say "David is CMMing bitches." Given Facebook censors, I woke up in the morning to say "David is cmming." Which is dangerously close to something else.
Needless to say I fixed it as fast as humanly possible and it seemed as if no one noticed, but still, for as long as I have this phone I need to watch those Facebook updates. People will start think I'm some sort of freak person if I don't watch those updates. Or a porn star. One of the two. Either way, I'm not down with that.
Fun with Facebook
It's not you, I swear, but we need to talk
Sorry Facebook friends. I know we're really close and all, sharing wall posts, scrabble games, and good times all around throughout the years, but I'm going to have let you go. I'd be lying if I said it was really you that caused your demise from my Facebook friends list, but sheer bribery goes a long way when it comes to cleaning up my social networking accounts.
So to all of you fairweather Facebook friends, I bid you adieu. I will gleefully sacrifice you as part of the "Whopper Sacrifice" application Facebook and Burger King just launched, where axing 10 Facebook friends earns you a coupon for a free Whopper. It's not even that I like Whoppers a lot, it's just that I simply cannot resist free food.
I hope you all make the cut. I really hope you do. I guess it all depends on how hungry I get. Here's a hint: I get pretty hungry.
I did not see that coming
A friend of mine that I've known for a long time talked to me on Facebook chat just a little bit ago and informed me that she had a compliment to give me. I was a little confused, but I said okay. Most of the time that type of thing happens, I don't receive prefaces. Regardless, it happened. Then she said:
K, I saw that you were online and I looked at your page b/c I hadn't before and I noticed something - you are quite good looking. I just thought you should know.
That's the first time I've ever heard that before (besides a hammered cougar in a bar who told me I was "f**king sexy" but that hardly counts), so it felt really nice. I just thought that was the most random thing ever.
What the beep?
I just wrote a 537 word Facebook message. I'm fairly certain I've read books shorter than that. Not long books, and books that are often prefaced by words such as "comic" or "picture" or are written by people like "Dr. Seuss" but still, that's a crazy long Facebook message. I'm pretty sure I'd be a legit contender for longest Facebook message of the year, or at least in the "small novel" class of message.
I guess I roam squarely in the class of people who believe if you have something to say, make it long as hell and ramble as much as humanly possible.
Mission accomplished.
Update: In response to said Facebook message, I received "Holy crap, man! You must go through diaries like toilet paper!"
Genius.
Am I the only one? Seriously?
Mark Zuckerberg...surely thinking of another application he can persecute me with So today I received a message from an old friend on Facebook. Very exciting right? Wrong. As per usual, it was Facebook being utterly useless. 9 times out of 10 when I receive a "message" on there, it's some person asking me to add some new application to my page. Thinking this is necessary to see this message, I add it. Then it goes into a series of confusing messages where it asks me whether or not I would like to send a message on this application to all of my friends.
First off, why would I want to send a message to 167 people? What could this possibly accomplish? What news would I have to tell to all of them anyways?
Second off, why make it incredibly confusing on how to navigate this? Shouldn't there be a simple "no thanks" button so I can opt out of this master trap they've sprung upon me?
So instead of opting out, instead of sending a message to one person on this "fun wall," what do I do?
I inadvertently send a single orange line to 167 people. This led to 7 responses that ranged from bizarre postings that were not related to others that were openingly questioning my sanity. I'm sure the other 160 people were simply like "well, David's lost it."
The point of this?
I hate Facebook.
Back in college, I was an avid proponent of it. Back when it was information, pictures, the wall, all on a clean and clear layout. It was professional and nice mixed with all of the features I yearn for in my social network. Then Mark Zuckerberg threw the News Feed at us (Stalkers LOVE the News Feed I'd imagine) and it all started going to hell. Pretty soon we had the ascension of applications and 10 to 15 emails a day asking me if I would be interested in taking a "likeness test" or adding "Pirates vs. Ninjas."
It has went from the pinnacle of social networking, to some sort of combination of organized stalking guide and annoying widget gatherer. Yet its popularity is booming. I don't get it. I've pretty much switched over to Myspace entirely, and I don't really even like Myspace, but it is the lesser of two evils. Facebook is just one of those things that makes me feel like I am taking crazy pills.
It may sell for $15 billion dollars because its potential as an advertising supergiant, but I wish it would just go back to being the place where I got to stay in touch with my friends without having to get dragged into the ridiculousness of 13 people sending me the same image of a beer mug. Yes. This has happened to me. I wish it would stop, but I fear it's only going to get worse.
