Without 12 evil letters on it, it seems so harmless
For some reason, late yesterday afternoon and early last evening I was feeling like crap. I think it was a combination of huffing paint for a few hours as people were working on our roof at my office and the fact I was intensely tired. One way or another, this led to me crashing on my couch last night at 8:30 and getting somewhere between 10 or 11 hours of sleep (which is awesome). While I was sleeping though, I could have sworn I heard my neighbors discussing brown recluses, but given the fact that I was sleeping and am deathly afraid of spiders (ask my friend Lorna, who one time saw me regress into a 4 year old girl while driving when a spider appeared in my hair) it would have been unsurprising if I had just fictionalized this.
No less, I woke up the next morning rested and ready to take on the world. I showered, ate cereal, took care of some laundry, etc. etc. and prepared to depart. Given that my hands were going to be full, I put on my sunglasses and started moving up the staircase to the door. In the extreme darkness (dark + sunglasses = extreme dark), I noticed something down by the floor. It was an index card next to what looked like a clear cap to an aerosol spray bottle. There was writing on the card. Through my sunglasses I tried to decipher it.
Benji ridicules...bart reschools...and then I remember the "dream" and quickly remove my sunglasses and lean down.
Brown. Recluse. With a question mark after it (evidently there was a level of uncertainty as to what this beast was).
Predictably inside of the cap was a big freaking spider staring at me time six. I wanted to do one of two things: stomp on the cap 800 times or run away screaming like a little girl (much to Lorna's amusement). Instead I get up, slowly walk away, and develop a permanent set of goosebumps.
Why someone would capture that monster and not kill it, I have no idea. All I know is if they are in Alaska now, I'm moving to freaking Antarctica. I hate cold, but I hate spiders more.