A Slice of Fried Gold

Hippie Bracket: (1) Moose's Tooth vs. (8) Bear Tooth

Friday, March 5, 2010
What did we do to deserve this my fair readers? This is a showdown for the ages, and in the first round even! You have the number one seed of the entire tournament, the universally beloved Moose's Tooth, versus it's upstart little brother Bear Tooth. The only guarantee about these two places besides fantastic food and quality service is that you'll likely have to wait to eat at either place. But which is more worth the wait?

Moose's Tooth: This is perhaps the crown jewel of Alaskan dining experiences from the point-of-view of most Anchorage denizens, and with good reason. I've been to Chicago for their deep dish pizza, I've been to New York City and tried their slices...hell, I've been to Italy and tried what they had to offer, and I find them all lacking in comparison to a fat slice of Chicken Ranch or Greek Gyro from the Tooth. These guys are like the Fab Five from Michigan in 1991: immensely likeable, supremely talented, and they capture the imagination of anyone who experiences them.

You have even have the specific analogues for each player: Chris Webber was the de facto Alpha Dog (like the Chicken Ranch is the go-to pizza for many); Juwan Howard as the guy who was out-shadowed by Webber but in many ways was as good (the White Pizza for its sneaky awesomeness, and let's face it, Howard played like a white power forward from the 80's); Jalen Rose as the versatile point forward (the Avalanche because that brings a little bit of everything); Jimmy King as the guy who could kill you without you paying attention to him (the mozzarella sticks and their ability to destroy your appetite before your meal got there); and Ray Jackson as the guy who never reached the same heights as everyone else but was part of the team (the beer because if you drink too much of it you may not reach your dreams either).

I feel bad for anyone who faces up against Moose's Tooth because they are ridiculously delicious and a towering favorite.

Bear Tooth: We're going old school on this analogy, but Bear Tooth is like Oscar Robertson's Cincinnati Bearcats squads. In reality, they're just like Oscar Robertson. Every night could be a triple double experience at BT: go there for a dinner at the Grill and have some remarkably tasty halibut tacos; realize you feel like getting a bit of a drink on so you stay for their awesome beer (same as Moose's Tooth's beer) or perhaps a tequila flight; then not wanting to leave yet so you go check out an awesome arthouse movie at the theater. Ten out of ten experiences across the board in all three experiences.

Throw in the fact that youcan get the same pizza at this Tooth as you can at the other, plus all of their other advantages, and you have perhaps the perfect competitor to face off against Moose's Tooth.

The Showdown: While it's hard to argue that the Michigan Wolverines from 1991 were not one of the most talented squads of all time, the ultimate point of their story is that even with all of that talent, they ended up losing. Moose's Tooth is a remarkably exceptional restaurant, but the equivalent of Chris Webber's timeout in the championship game is the fact that they serve the same pizza at Bear Tooth. When you add a ton of other food and drink that you can't get if you dine at MT, it unbalances this showdown. Bear Tooth's versatility is unparalleled in the tournament, and with that in mind, I say sayanora to Moose's Tooth. You have been dethroned by your little brother.

I also want to note that this is one of the fiercest debates between my friends and I: which of the Tooth's is better? I'm the only one that sides with BT.


Sara said...

well done!

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