A Slice of Fried Gold

Drunk proofing

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Pretty much everyone at some point in their life has gotten tanked and made a call that they regretted. You know...drunk dialing. Of course, today in this technological utopia we live in, we don't just drunk dial, we drunken text, we drunken email, we send messages on Myspace and Facebook (and write blogs and post on Twitter...) while smashed. Really, if the usage of Messenger Pigeons were feasible and all other options were exhausted, a drunk person would more than likely find a way.

The point is, it kind of sucks. You always think you are sharing something profound or that you simply have to tell someone something, but more often than not, it isn't and you don't. Thankfully Google, the innovators that they are, have now thought of a rather hysterical way to drunk proof their mail site Gmail (thanks to Claire from Time for actually testing this - that was a remarkably entertaining article). You can go into options and set your Mail Goggles to run during certain days at certain times, and when you try and send an email you're forced to solve five math questions before you can send it.

Genius.

That's why Google is so great - they find problems and create simple solutions for the average person. You have to love it. Even though I'm savvy at math while intoxicated, I know certain people who are not so inclined (you know who you are). This would pretty much eliminate their ability to email after a nice run at the bars. Game, set, match - Google.

Of course, now I just have to pick up a Samsung LP4100 so I can't make embarrassing calls or texts (it has a breathalyzer on it, if you don't pass, you can't call or text), load up my Mail Goggles, and always get a friend to change my Myspace, Facebook, and Twitter passwords before I go out and I'll be all set. No more "god, I can't believe I said that" the next day. No more "I really didn't mean to put that picture on Facebook." No more "I really didn't mean that."

Thank god.

Of course my neighbors do have a bunch of birds. If desperation really sinks in, I could always co-opt one of those and try to get it to deliver my message. Odds are it won't work. But there's always the chance...

4 comments:

Patty said...

Thank God for big brother protecting us from ourselves.

David Harper said...

Well, I wouldn't really call Google Big Brother. They're more like a loveable electronic uncle.

sheri said...

I would think a phone with a breathalizer disable feature might be a bit of a danger in case of emergency, no?

"i would have called a cab, but my phone wouldn't let me!"

sheri said...

nevermind... it only disables numbers you tell it to.

maybe the solution is not getting drunk!

;)

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