A Slice of Fried Gold

Dumpster Divin' 4 Lyfe

Saturday, March 1, 2008

On Friday, I took the day off from work to help Lacey wrap up her move, meaning I helped her clean her place, pack, take her car down to the transportation place that was taking her car down to Minnesota, etc. Mostly, I went because there was the promise of Snow City (I had two entrees - Pesto Pasta with Chicken AND a half order of Eggs Benedict - I love food) and because it was Lacey's last day.

But this is not a tale about Lacey's last day (more on that later), no. This is a far more sordid tale. This is one of dirt, grime, and morally reprehensible actions (at least in terms of sheer cleanliness).

To help clean her place, I was taking things from Lacey's that she didn't need out to the dumpster near her place. I'd carry the big load out, toss it in the dumpster, move on to the next one. No big deal. One particularly big load, I had Hannah help me carry it out. We walk out, and about half way to the dumpster a man yells at us from the apartment complex nearby.

Guy: "Hey! Are you guys tossing that stuff out?!"
Me: "Yeah."
Guy: "Can you leave it by the dumpster? I want it."
Me, quietly to Hannah: "What the hell?"
Hannah, quietly to me: "Is this guy serious?"
Me: "Ummm....sure."

The guy quickly runs over to check out his new found treasures. These included a step ladder, a mirror, and random other things that I was carrying. Perfectly useful stuff to the right person, but Lacey was leaving and Hannah and I needed none of it. No big deal, right?

Well, as we were going back to the apartment I'm walking along when Hannah, who was behind me, makes an exclamation of shock. For the next 5 minutes, we stand inside, hiding and watching this guy as he used the step ladder to climb inside the dumpster and take whatever he deemed useful. What did he take?
  • A fan
  • Moisturizer
  • Soap (the irony!)
  • A Luffa (by far the most disgusting thing taken)
  • A shelving unit
  • Many other things

After this went on for quite some time, we went back inside to excitedly tell Lacey. Sadly, there was nothing else for us to take out, so we moved on to carrying stuff out to Lacey's car to pack. At this point, the apartment manager was outside watching as the man had been joined by his buddy, who was sorting through their loot excitedly, with the man nowhere to be found.

The man was quickly found again of course, as he jumped up trimphantly with his arms raised, holding what could only be some sort of majestic scepter or some other seemingly priceless find (it was the long stem of the fan he took). Never, ever, has a person been more excited about ordinary things found in the dumpster.

I really wish I had photographic evidence of this, but needless to say it was one of the stranger things I've ever seen. I can say one thing, I really hope I never reach the point where dumpster diving seems like a possible solution to a given situation. It was an awfully bizarre situation.


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